it's like her boobs came off with her bra
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
