32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
