every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
