Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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