There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
