well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
