Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
