Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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