Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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