i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
