i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
