Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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