He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Randomize
