you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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