waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Also, beer. Big fan.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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