I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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