sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
