She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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