You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
