I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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