I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
the day after is always just damage control
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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