Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
