so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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