i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she told me i tasted like america
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
