I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
