never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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