A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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