I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
