We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.