Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks http://tfl.nu/odpi
  Replies (19) Good night (1634) Bad night (4112)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight. http://tfl.nu/vmn2
  Replies (4) Good night (623) Bad night (3978)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?" http://tfl.nu/ava3
  Replies (52) Good night (4913) Bad night (657)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds. http://tfl.nu/h5lf
  Replies (12) Good night (549) Bad night (3273)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :( http://tfl.nu/s6q5
  Replies (54) Good night (755) Bad night (17120)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (661): Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up. http://tfl.nu/ev42
  Replies (22) Good night (5187) Bad night (1779)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (913): I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago. http://tfl.nu/uh8m
  Replies (35) Good night (13840) Bad night (1138)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy. http://tfl.nu/ah1s
  Replies (36) Good night (902) Bad night (4641)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner... http://tfl.nu/glgi
  Replies (24) Good night (1091) Bad night (5326)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year http://tfl.nu/jq5i
  Replies (23) Good night (5964) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out http://tfl.nu/ac78
  Replies (7) Good night (3710) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (626): View more from California

  I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (626): I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner http://tfl.nu/0q4j
  Replies (4) Good night (3860) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird http://tfl.nu/y10m
  Replies (6) Good night (1066) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (309): yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester http://tfl.nu/2w28
  Replies (2) Good night (495) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (613): I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun. http://tfl.nu/gqms
  Replies (2) Good night (175) Bad night (503)

Randomize