Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?

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  (248): Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"? http://tfl.nu/h596
  Replies (38) Good night (4763) Bad night (2636)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student

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  (954): woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student http://tfl.nu/4vc9
  Replies (38) Good night (18990) Bad night (997)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

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  (610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk
  Replies (27) Good night (6813) Bad night (773)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.

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  (727): I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place. http://tfl.nu/vbxd
  Replies (18) Good night (6073) Bad night (1144)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.

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  (816): He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance. http://tfl.nu/ljav
  Replies (5) Good night (2585) Bad night (1360)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker

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  (210): I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker http://tfl.nu/tvqf
  Replies (8) Good night (3061) Bad night (1086)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  As shirtless as possible

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  (505): As shirtless as possible http://tfl.nu/35li
  Replies (3) Good night (1661) Bad night (565)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat

  (830): View more from Texas

  You are so not ready for motherhood

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  (210): Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat (830): You are so not ready for motherhood http://tfl.nu/j27j
  Replies (3) Good night (1065) Bad night (1880)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"

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  (774): You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!" http://tfl.nu/sqoz
  Replies (4) Good night (1823) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.

  (480): View more from Arizona

  I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.

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  (925): I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist. (480): I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test. http://tfl.nu/pge5
  Replies (2) Good night (1171) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.

  (415): View more from California

  I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext

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  (317): TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT. (415): I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext http://tfl.nu/qb0z
  Replies (7) Good night (2659) Bad night (649)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

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  (317): Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity http://tfl.nu/wsrq
  Replies (0) Good night (462) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.

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  (406): She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony. http://tfl.nu/xx47
  Replies (3) Good night (671) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker

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  (651): Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker http://tfl.nu/s38c
  Replies (0) Good night (614) Bad night (435)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.

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  (904): Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not. http://tfl.nu/ujhu
  Replies (0) Good night (697) Bad night (235)

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