Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm really into asian looking animals
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
