All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
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This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened