captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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