just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
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I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Randomize
