I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
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