So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
