brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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