..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
