C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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