he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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