I have demons in me.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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