Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
