Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
