Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
