The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize