There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize