He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
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