Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
