when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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