from now on my penis is your penis
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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