just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
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