Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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