i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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