ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
