I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
