What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
