Cold hands, warm shart.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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