I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
we made out on top of his cat.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
