with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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