I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
