:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
