I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
