she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
